Of sewing and friendship

[Lilly-Anne]

Hi, I've recently posted a thread that I'm making a dress for a larp I'll play nobility and mentioned that I may need the assistence of a maid to get into it. Well, my best friend is interested in larping and would like to go, but keep close to me as this would be her first time - the role on my maid is ready-made for this. She is very excited about the idea.

But the problem - We know each other since we were 10 and as I'm quite manually skilled, I've always made costumes for her for mascarades etc. I never asked anything for it as she was my friend and I used things that I had at home.

Today I work as an amateur seamstress for my LARPing friends - they pay me the material + a little extra (5-20$) depending on the difficulty and I get to keep the excess material. I make my costumes largely of what I get this way. I'm still an amateur and gain plenty of experience this way, though I will never sew proffesionaly, it's just a hobby.

I have an impression she thinks I can make her costume from my own resources. I'm very hesitant about asking for money in general and I have a feeling asking her might be tactless. Plus, she sometimes has absolutely impractical ideas that I hate to turn down (most common argument - you need to be able to move in it, or - this was invented in the 20th century!).

So in all it's a great dillema for me. I mean, she's my best friend and I got the idea she'd come with me. But I'm very low at money while she isn't. I hate asking for money. Should I do it for her for free as this is her first time?

[dicemistress]

Lilly, while I'm greatful (and I think others will agree) that you feel comfortable asking people here for advice, I don't plan on telling you how to do things or exactly what you should do (and I've a feeling others will agree here, too). You sound like a very intelligent, smart woman who has a good head on her shoulders. I feel you should trust your own instincts and thoughts a bit more.

That being said, I've had friends who I've paid to do stuff like that for me. Matter of fact I currently have a good friend making masks for my LARP and yes, I'm paying them to do it. It doesn't sound like you're wanting to charge a horrible amount for the work you do. You keep it very reasonable. Not only that, but in my opinion friends help each other, even if it means having to buy a little something rather than get a free handout.

From what I've read it sounds like a communications glitch and you two just need to sit down and talk things over. She needs to understand your situation and what you're willing to do and you need to find out the specifics of what she's looking for.

Best of luck and game on!

- Amber E.
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Mortalis Games /// Journeys to another world

[BaronBlackRose]

One of my friends is a seamstress. She does SCA, Renfair etc. And I always paid her. One it's courteous to pay. Some would say buy the materials needed and ask for a reasonable sum or donation for your time.. But dicemistress has it spot on. You need to talk to her. explain things and such.
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Just when you thought the worse was over. Here I am. :0)

[RyanPaddy]

Is this our first agony aunt request?

Auntie Ryan says:

Just ask if she's happy to pay for the fabric. If so, take her fabric shopping and have her pay at the shop. That's not awkward, and you'll have fun shopping together. I wouldn't ask for money beyond the fabric from your best friend, especially as she's playing your character's servant partly as a favour to you. And you can keep any leftover fabric, it's no use to her if she doesn't sew.

Of course, as Amber says, you know your friendship and should just do what you think best. But sometimes it helps to have some suggestions to chose from.

[BaronBlackRose]

[quote="RyanPaddy"]Is this our first agony aunt request?

Auntie Ryan says:

Just ask if she's happy to pay for the fabric. If so, take her fabric shopping and have her pay at the shop. That's not awkward, and you'll have fun shopping together. I wouldn't ask for money beyond the fabric from your best friend, especially as she's playing your character's servant partly as a favour to you. And you can keep any leftover fabric, it's no use to her if she doesn't sew.

Of course, as Amber says, you know your friendship and should just do what you think best. But sometimes it helps to have some suggestions to chose from.[/quote]

Agreed with Ryan.
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Just when you thought the worse was over. Here I am. :0)